2023 comment: These aren’t questions. Not sure what the point is.
| Top Ten Burning Questions? | |
| 1 | Convince the referee that 80 minutes is enough. |
| 2 | Considering they lead the league in shots, try to get partial credit. |
| 3 | Take a corner kick that lands anywhere in the box, and produces a shot on goal. |
| 4 | Play with three true defensive midfielders. It worked for the forwards. |
| 5 | Go back to the ’99 uniforms for the Chicago games. |
| 6 | Tell Jason Kreis it’s OK not to pass sometimes. |
| 7 | Tell the entire midfield that counterattacks work both ways. |
| 8 | Bring former All-Star Mark Dodd back to sit on the bench, so Jordan will worry about keeping his job. |
| 9 | Learn to curse in Bulgarian to prepare for Hristo Stoitchkov. |
| 10 | Remind the Wizards, win or lose, they still have to live in Kansas City when the season is over. |