I’m Dustin “El Jefe” Christmann, and I am an FC Dallas fanatic from Day One of the Dallas Burn. I’m also a hater. I used to yell mean, hateful things from the stands at the Cotton Bowl and Toyota Stadium, but now, I’m sharing my id with you to help guide you, my fellow FCD fans, in your enjoyment of Major Soccer on TV.
Musical accompaniment
Last week
I joke, of course. I’m in my 31st season supporting this team. I know the deal. Of course, they’ll lose, and possibly in the most heartbreaking manner possible.
But it feels good getting a win, and more importantly, it feels good watching Petar Musa and Logan Farrington look like the first legit scoring duo that this team has had in 25 years. Does the team behind them need some work? You bet. As the fellas on 3rd Degree the Podcast said, the midfield was workmanlike and nothing special. And back line? Woof.
But for now, nothing but good vibes, baby.
EL SUPERCLÁSICO DEL SIGLO (de la semana)
Orlando City vs. Inter Miami (Apple TV, 6:00 on Sunday)
This week’s SUNDAY ⚡ NIGHT ⚡ SOCCER ⚡⚡⚡ matchup is a nice one. They’ll have some duds coming up later this season, but this one is good.
Inter Miami is starting off this season with five straight road games before their new stadium opens up at the beginning of April. (But the cool kids are doing nine straight on the road between May and September. Get on FCD’s level, Miami.) So they get to pay a visit to their little buddies up the road in Orlando, still coached by our old friend Óscar Pareja.
Now, one of the rules of this column is Pareja apologia, so the rooting pick is a foregone conclusion. But I would be remiss if I didn’t at least mention that there’s a little grumbling among Orlando fans about him. Let’s face it: He’s been in Orlando for six seasons — one season longer than he spent in Frisco — and despite having ownership a bit more willing to open up the wallet than Dan and Clark Hunt, he hasn’t exactly achieved the level of success he had in Frisco. Yes, he won the Open Cup in Orlando, as he did with FCD, but at FCD, he also won the Supporters Shield.
Meanwhile, Inter Miami came into the league the same season that Papi arrived in Orlando and has won a Leagues Cup, Supporters Shield, and MLS Cup. Granted, they’ve been greatly aided by signing the greatest player of our generation, and everyone else that’s willing to take a 50% haircut just to play with the greatest player of our generation, but these are tools that are available to just about every team in this league.
“Oh, these superstars will only play in certain markets.”
My man, the second greatest player of our generation, is currently plying his trade in a place where they only recently started letting women drive. You mean to tell me you can’t pay enough money to attract a legit superstar to a place that has Walt Disney World, AND Universal Studios, AND SeaWorld? Thomas Müller’s playing closer to Alaska than he is to LA, for crying out loud.
Anyhow, Orlando City is years older than Inter Miami, but they’re definitely the little brother here, and it’s not like they couldn’t have done anything about it.
Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: Orlando
Little Brother Game of the Week
Houston Dynamo vs. Los Angeles FC (Apple TV, 7:30)
Speaking of Inter Miami’s road trip to start the season, it started last week in Los Angeles. 75,000 people were in the house at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to watch LAFC tune up Inter Miami to the tune of 3-0. I don’t know if LAFC fans were terribly upset about playing a home game at the Coliseum, given that it is literally next door to their usual home of BMO Stadium in Exposition Park.
The atmosphere was great, and the place was rocking, so let’s bring them back down to earth for a visit to downtown Houston. Look, given that our team currently plays in a stadium currently under construction and limited to 11,000 seats, I am definitely NOT going give the little brothers the Bayou City a hard time about attendance. Besides, every Korean and Korean-American fan within 100 miles of Houston is gonna be in the house with their Son shirts on.
Kind of a shame, really, because they might (throwing up slightly in my mouth while writing this) actually have a good team this season. The good news, though, is that Ben Olsen is still their manager, and if you’re a hater, you never count out the two-time Wooden Spoon winner when it comes to mismanaging a team.
And I’m pretty sure that he isn’t gonna have any brilliant tactical wrinkles in mind to give to his boys to keep LAFC from beating them like they stole something.
Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: LAFC
Sickos Game of the Week
San Diego FC vs. St. Louis City (Apple TV and FS1, 8:15 on Sunday)
When we last saw San Diego in action last week, they were steamrolling Montréal 5-0 at Snapdragon Stadium. Sure, Montréal is terrible most seasons, so you can’t really take TOO much out of that, especially when they’re on the road at the furthest possible destination that they play a league game at, and they played a man down for the last 40 minutes… when they were already down 2-0.
The impressive part is that San Diego did that without Chucky Lozano, a guy that everyone thought was gonna be brilliant for them a year ago. After all, why else would they be paying him $7.5 million a year? But he was subbed at half on October 4, got into a heated argument with Mikey Varas, was dropped for the last two games, and only appeared as a substitute in the playoffs as SDFC made it to the Western Conference Final before they lost to Vancouver. And now? I almost feel bad for the guy:
On most days, he cuts a lonesome, solitary figure on a green sea, sitting on a soccer ball at the Sharp HealthCare Performance Center, San Diego FC’s practice facility in East County.
Hirving “Chucky” Lozano trains by himself each day. Then, when SDFC begins scrimmaging, he finds a ball along the sideline and sits there watching, elbow on knee, chin on hand, alone, isolated, ostracized.
It’s been more than a month since SDFC sporting director Tyler Heaps told reporters that Lozano, the face of the franchise in its inaugural season, “will not be part of the sporting plans moving forward.” The hope, Heaps said, was to quickly find the Mexican winger a new club to enhance his chances of playing in the World Cup this summer on home soil.
In the meantime, Lozano would train on the side and not suit up for SDFC in the coming season.
We’re in mid-February. He’s still training on the side.
OK, not too bad:
Multiple sources close to SDFC and MLS have said the 30-year-old left wing has expressed a desire to stay in San Diego and collect his money, even if it means sabotaging his World Cup hopes and derailing the remainder of his pro career. He moved his wife and children to San Diego last year after his transfer from Dutch club PSV Eindhoven.
They like it. He likes it. He doesn’t want to leave.
That sounds like career mismanagement to me, especially as the club keeps showing that you are not vital to their success in the league. But it would be nice to be able to mismanage one’s career and still get paid $20 million to live in San Diego and work out every day.
And I don’t think that they’ll need him on Sunday night either. St. Louis has decided to be Nas, having a great debut in 2023, but following it up with, well, terrible efforts in 2024 and 2025. Actually, that’s kind of mean to Nas. It Was Written, and I Am… weren’t as good as Illmatic, but they weren’t as bad as St. Louis was the last two seasons.
Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: San Diego. Normally in a Western Conference game, I go for the draw, but honestly, keeping St. Louis down is a lot more relevant to FCD’s fortune than San Diego is. Besides, Chucky’s continued professional humiliation is amusing to me.
Good Guys Game of the Week
FC Dallas vs. Nashville SC (Apple TV, 7:30)
Because of FCD’s extended spell away from Toyota Stadium this summer due to the World Cup and construction, we’re gonna get to see lots of two and three-game homestands before and afterwards. Potentially lots of points at Fortress Frisco!
Well, potentially. As the saying goes, “Potential means that you ain’t done anything yet.”
That comes to mind when thinking about this week’s game. Yes, it’s a home game and yes, those have usually meant three points for the Good Guys, but you can’t exactly write that in ink, especially when somebody comes to town that knows what they’re doing, unlike, say, Toronto FC.
And Nashville knows what they’re doing. Since 2024, they have
- Signed Sam Surridge at striker
- Replaced Gary Smith with B.J. Callaghan
- Signed Andy Najar at right back
- Let Walker Zimmerman go to Toronto, freeing up a whole lot of salary flexibility
- Signed Christian Espinoza when San Jose foolishly neglected to pick up his option, and he became a free agent
All this while holding onto Hany Mukhtar. So, a team that finished seventh in the East and lost two straight to Orlando in the first round of the 2023 playoffs and missed the 2024 playoffs, finished sixth in the East, lost two games to one to eventual champions Miami in the first round of the 2025 playoffs, and won the Open Cup. So they’re definitely on the come-up, and when they filleted New England at home 4-1 to open the season, it wasn’t really a surprise.
So I hate them. I hate them because I envy them. While FCD has spent most of the last seven seasons floundering about, wildly oversteering from one coach to another, changing tactics, changing formations, changing philosophies, making ill-advised signings, their opponents on Saturday night have been engaged in an often-overlooked practice known as “roster building.”
But maybe it’s a new day on World Cup Way. Maybe FCD is returning to the old ways when they would build good teams on middle-class budgets, take care of business at home, and rack up the points. Saturday night will be the test.