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Author: Dustin Christmann

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Categories FC Dallas, Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching Week 5

America’s got a few places that have meant more to the history of the game in this country than others: Fall River, Massachusetts… Kearny, New Jersey… Portland, Oregon… Dallas, Texas… St. Louis, Missouri.

March 24, 2023March 24, 2023
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Categories FC Dallas, Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching Week 4

Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: San Jose. Sometimes, I’m in it for the hate, sometimes, the self-care, but I’m always in it for the comedy.

March 17, 2023March 17, 2023
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Categories Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching Week 3

There are two games this weekend where both teams are undefeated this season.

March 10, 2023March 10, 2023
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Categories FC Dallas, Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching Week 2

When you can’t break down other teams’ defenses, when you can’t finish your opportunities, and when your backline looks shakier than a college student after their fifth margarita at Taco Cabana, then bad stuff will happen.

March 4, 2023March 4, 2023
(St. Louis CITY SC Communications)
Categories Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching Week 1

I’m Dustin “El Jefe” Christmann and I am an FC Dallas fanatic from Day One of the Dallas Burn. I’m also a hater. I used…

February 25, 2023February 26, 2023
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Categories Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching the MLS Cup Final

It was one of those restaurants — probably in England — where everything on the menu is revolting.

November 5, 2022November 5, 2022
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Categories Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching the Conference Finals

Anyway, if you’re looking for thoughtful analysis of the end of FCD’s season, you’ve come to the wrong column.

October 29, 2022October 29, 2022
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Categories Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching the Conference Semifinals

FC Cincinnati, which had only ever finished at the bottom of the Eastern Conference in every season of their existence, are now statistically The Greatest Playoff Team in MLS History.

October 20, 2022October 20, 2022
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Categories Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching the 1st Round of the Playoffs

You see, I’m a hater and there’s nothing I hate more than my own team once the playoffs roll around. Their playoff suckage is the stuff of nightmares.

October 15, 2022January 19, 2023
Vermes
Categories Major League Soccer

The FCD fan’s guide to hatewatching DECISION DAY

Do I enjoy the fact that Atlanta United is hot garbage now? Do I enjoy that people are quickly forgetting that Tata Martino once coached them to an MLS title?

October 8, 2022October 8, 2022

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