One player from every Premier League team that FC Dallas could realistically sign

The English Premier League is home to some of the biggest talents on earth, as well as some of the biggest flops. Somewhere in between lie hidden gems for various other leagues to pilfer in hopes of that gem being able to shine brighter in a different environment.

What follows is a list of players FC Dallas could somewhat reasonably sign, with estimates of what their transfer values would be below, from transfermarkt.us.

Arsenal – Matt Macey

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Matt Macey, Alexandre Lacazette, and Gabrial Martinelli. (Courtesy Arsenal FC)
  • Profile: English, GK, 25 years old, 6’7″.
  • Signed a first-team contract with Arsenal in 2015 after coming through their youth academy. 
  • Spent nearly all of his senior career on loan to lower-tier English sides
  • Macey has amassed 123 starts with 27 total clean sheets, including one in the Europa League.
  • Given FC Dallas’ current need for a no. 1, Macey would be the most logical Arsenal player to be signed. He is currently valued at $275k by Transfermarkt.
  • Similar signing: Michel Vorm. Or maybe an actual tree.

Aston Villa – Neil Taylor

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Neil Taylor. (Courtesy Aston Villa)
  • Profile: Welsh, LB, 31 years old.
  • 16 appearances this season at left back for Villa.
  • Joined Aston Villa in 2017 after 7 years in Swansea.
  • Has 42 caps for the Wales National Team.
  • Left back has been in a position in flux for the past few years at FC Dallas. The club thought they found their man with Bulgarian international Anton Nedyalkov but he chose to cut his time with the club short. While Hollingshead is doing a great job, someone who is more solid defensively could be very beneficial to the club.
  • Taylor is currently valued at $3.08m by transfermarkt, with that number likely to plunge in the event Villa are relegated.
  • Similar signing: Anton Nedalyakov :/

Bournemouth – Andrew Surman

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Andrew Surman and Callum Wilson. (Courtesy AFC Bournemouth)
  • Profile: English, CM, 33 years old.
  • 9 appearances this season for Bournemouth this season.
  • Surman is leaving the club at the end of the season, after 6 seasons with the cherries.
  • Bryan Acosta has been very good for FC Dallas but very undisciplined, being the oldest member of our box-to-box midfielders, someone like Surman could not only do a good job to work on his discipline issues, but also do a great job filling in where needed.
  • Surman is currently worth $1.76m by transfermarkt, but as he is a free agent a deal with the club would not need to be struck.
  • Similar signing: off-brand Steven Gerrard

Brighton and Hove Albion – Ezequiel Schelotto

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Ezequel Schelotto. (Courtesy Brighton and Hove Albion)
  • Profile: Italian, RB, 31 years old.
  • 9 appearances this season at right back for the gulls.
  • Schelotto’s contract with Brighton ends at the end of the season and the Italian has yet to find a new club.
  • Reggie Cannon has been linked with European transfers as of late, and when he leaves someone will need to step in.
  • Schelotto’s transfer value is currently at $1.32m according to transfermarkt, but as he is a free agent a deal with the club would not need to  be struck.
  • Similar signing: idk, no one really ever splurges on right backs in MLS

Burnley – Johann Berg Gudmundsson

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Jose Cholevas and Johann Berg Gudmundsson. (Courtesy Burnley FC)
  • Profile: Icelandic, RW, 29 years old.
  • 9 Appearances with Burnley this season
  • Gudmundsson has 75 caps for the Icelandic national team.
  • While the FC Dallas has a lot of pace on the wing, with players such as Barrios and Picault, it does not have that cold-blooded quality that is sometimes needed. Gudmundsson would be able to provide a touch of class on the wing.
  • Gudmundsson is valued at $8.8m by transfermarkt, but given his increasing age and decreasing quality, a realistic transfer figure would likely be lower.
  • Similar Signing: pale Carlos Vela

Chelsea – Danny Drinkwater

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Carles Alena and Danny Drinkwater. (Courtesy Chelsea FC)
  • Profile: English, CM, 30 years old.
  • 6 appearances across Chelsea and Aston Villa this season.
  • Drinkwater has 3 caps for England.
  • The former Premier League Champion has been all but shown the door by Chelsea, receiving a loan move to Villa for the rest of the season. For FC Dallas, he would provide an engine in the midfield and leadership with experience in winning at a high level, something the club desperately needs.
  • Tranfermarkt rates Drinkwater as worth $5.28m, a far cry from the over $40m Chelsea bought him from Leicester for 3 summers ago.
  • Similar signing: William Hydration.

Crystal Palace – Connor Wickham

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Connor Wickham. (Courtesy Crystal Palace FC)
  • Profile: English, ST, 27 years old.17 appearances across the Premier League for Palace, and the Championship for Sheffield Wednesday.
  • Wickham was bought for $11m from Sunderland in 2015 but has not been able to live up to his potential at Selhurst Park. He has amassed a handful of goals for the eagles but after his loan to Sheffield Wednesday, his name at the club seems to be coming to an end.
  • He has fought a calf injury for a while but he still has good quality when fit. He has a big body and is capable with both feet.
  • Wickham’s current value sits at $1.32m on transfermarkt.
  • Similar Signing: Josef Martinez

Everton – Yannick Bolasie

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Bruno Fernandes and Yannick Bolasie. (Courtesy Sporting Club de Portugal)
  • Profile: Congolese, Winger, 31 years old.
  • 25 appearances across all competitions for Sporting Lisbon this season, with only 2 goals and 5 assists.
  • Everton spent over 30m on Bolasie 4 years ago. He was never able to find his footing with the Toffees and has been constantly loaned out ever since.
  • A wildly skillful player, it is unfortunate that Bolasie has not quite been able to settle in well since his move out of south London.
  • Bolasie is currently valued at $5.28m on transfermarkt.
  • Similar signing: Luis Nani.

Leicester City – Christian Fuchs

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Mohamed Salah and Christian Fuchs. (Courtesy Leicester City)
  • Profile: Austrian, LB, 34 years old.
  • 15 appearances for Fuchs this season with the Foxes.
  • Fuchs is a dead ball specialist, something FC Dallas has missed since the departure of Mauro Diaz. While Zieglar has done a good job at taking direct free kicks, the rest of the club’s set pieces have been less than stellar.
  • He would also bring winning experience to the club, similar to Drinkwater, and would probably sell some jerseys.
  • Fuchs’ value on Transfermarkt is $1.76m
  • Similar signing: Ali Adnan.

Liverpool – Adam Lallana

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Adam Lallana and Robert Snodgrass. (Courtesy Liverpool FC)
  • Profile: English, CM, 32 years old.
  • 22 appearances for Liverpool this season.
  • Lallana will be a free agent at the end of the season, as such he is quite the eligible bachelor for clubs looking for winning experience in midfield.
  • Lallana is very well two-footed and a good creator from the no. 8-role. 
  • Lallana would bring winning experience as well as a calming and creative influence to the FC Dallas midfield.
  • Lallana’s value is the highest on this list at $10.45m, but as a free agent, a deal would not need to be struck with the club.
  • Similar signing: off-brand Steven Gerrard again.

Manchester City – Claudio Bravo

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Claudio Bravo and Kevin De Bruyne. (Courtesy Manchester City)
  • Profile: Chilean, GK, 37 years old.
  • 17 appearances for City across 5 different competitions this season.
  • Bravo was brought in to replace Joe Hart as soon as Pep Guardiola took over, as Pep prefers goalkeepers who are good with their feet and Joe Hart could not be any worse with his.
  • Bravo has won trophies all across Europe and would bring veteran leadership and fill the no. 1 hole the club currently has.
  • Transfermarkt currently rates Bravo as worth $1.32m.
  • Similar signing: No one, because that would be dumb.

Manchester United – Joel Pereira

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  • Profile: Portugese, GK, 24 years old.
  • 25 appearances for Hearts of Midlothian (On loan)
  • Pereira has no future at Manchester United, spending basically his entire senior career on various loan spells across Europe. 
  • Pereira’s entire career at United has consisted of him signing a new contract every year or so then getting shipped out to the middle of nowhere just to have the ball blown by him twice a match by actual farmers.
  • FC Dallas needs a no. 1. (That’s it. There’s really not much to chose from at Untied.)
  • Pereira is rated as worth $523k on transfermarkt.
  • Similar signing: see Manchester City’s similar signing.

Newcastle United – DeAndre Yedlin

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DeAndre Yedlin. (Courtesy Newcastle United)
  • Profile: American, RB, 27.
  • 19 appearances for Newcastle this season.
  • In the eventuality that the club sells Reggie Cannon, a solid RB could take his place.
  • Yedlin is a pacey fullback with loads of experience.
  • Worth $7.15m on transfermarkt.
  • Similar signing: see Brighton and Hove Albion’s similar signing.

Norwich City – Areal Person

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Tampa Bay Rowdies (Courtesy Tampa Bay Rowdies)
  • No one really knows any Norwich City players anyways, right?
  • I can get away with not mentioning anyone here because no one really follows Norwich.
  • Maybe if they had better kits or better colors more people would care but yellow and green is just a bad combo.
  • Anyways here’s a pic of Tampa Bay Rowdies players since no one will know the difference anyway.
  • Ok fine. Teemu Pukki and he’s worth $8m on that german website.
  • Similar Signing: Gustavo Bou.

Sheffield United – Jack Rodwell ?

(Courtesy Sheffield United)
  • Jack Rodwell sounds like a familiar name, not sure why.
  • He seems like a good bloke and a solid midfielder, would probably do well at FC Dallas I guess.
  • You ever notice how despite the blades being in 7th place, you really can’t name most of their players.
  • If you put a gun to my head and asked me to name their full XI… well… you know… 
  • Anyways here is a picture of some random player since you do not really know what Jack Rodwell looks like anyways.
  • Worth like 2 million or something.
  • Similar signing: Um…

Southampton– Shane Long

  • Profile: Irish, ST, 33 years old.
  • Long has 27 appearances for the Saints this season.
  • Goal production has taken a massive dip, only scoring thrice in those 27 appearances.
  • Long is a national hero for the Irish, netting 17 goals in his 82 caps for his country.
  • Long’s 6-year career with the saints is in its waning days, as younger strikers are being signed to take his place. As such, the 33-year-old Irishman will most likely be looking for a new club soon.
  • Irish strikers have mixed success in the MLS, with Robbie Keane being on the more positive side of that.
  • Long is valued at $3.08 by transfermarkt.
  • Similar Signing: Chicharito, except without the worldwide fame.

Tottenham Hotspur – Cameron Carter-Vickers

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Cameron Carter-Vickers. (Courtesy Tottenham Hotspur)
  • Profile: American, CB, 22 years old.
  • CCV has 27 appearances in all competitions for Luton Town, who sit in the relegation zone of the Championship after their promotion from League 1 last season.
  • Luton Town has been CCV’s 5th loan spell since signing with Spurs as a youth academy product in July 2016. As such, North London does not seem like it will be the young defender’s permanent home.
  • Almost every team CCV has been loaned to has had a horribly disappointing season, meaning FC Dallas may make for the perfect home for the young American, as a place where he can regain his confidence at a high level.
  • Cameron Carter-Vickers is evaluated at $2.20m by transfermarkt.
  • Similar signing: Emerson Hyndman.

Watford FC – Roberto Pereyra

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Roberto Pereyra. (Courtesy Watford FC)
  • Profile: Argentinian, CAM, 29 years old
  • Roberto Pereyra has appeared for the hornets 30 times this season, netting 5 and assisting just once.
  • Watford has not had a great season, and are hovering just one point above the drop zone.
  • Dallas has yet to fill the void left by Mauro Diaz, as such this Argentinian number 10 may yet be the best way to patch that hole.
  • The Argentinian also has experience winning at a high level as a member of the Juventus squad in 2014 and 2015, lifting 4 trophies in his time there.
  • The third highest on this list, Pereyra is valued at $9.90m by transfermarkt.
  • Similar signing: Nicolas Loidero.

West Ham United – Andriy Yarmolenko

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Andriy Yarmolenko. (Courtesy West Ham United FC)
  • Profile: Ukranian, RW, 30 years old.
  • Yarmo has scored 4 in his 18 appearances this season for the hammers, with his role being greatly diminished after David Moyes took over as manager.
  • Andriy is an icon for his national team, scoring 37 goals across his 82 appearances for Ukraine.
  • The Ukrainian would be an elite signing for FC Dallas and would be a key addition on the wing. While he may not be the lightning-quick he used to be he still certainly has a cannon of a left peg is still very crafty.
  • Yarmo would cost the club a pretty penny, though, with his current price being listed as $10.45m on transfermarkt, though I would venture to guess the club would part for him for less as he does not seem to fit the direction they are heading.
  • Similar Signing: Blonde Carlos Vela.

Wolverhampton Wanderers – Joao Moutinho

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Joao Moutinho. (Courtesy Wolves)
  • Profile: Portugese, CM, 33 years old.
  • Joao Moutinho has appeared in 50 games this season, remarkable given his age.
  • A classical midfield maestro, Moutinho’s strengths are distribution from a reserved playmaking role, as well as set-piece delivery.
  • I refuse to end this list on a boring note like John Ruddy or some other goalkeeper no one has heard of.
  • Moutinho has been capped 121 times by his country and is currently valued at $8.8m on transfermarkt.
  • Similar signing: Andrea Pirlo

Who You Got?

That is the list. While the Hunts would basically never even go looking in the premier league for talent, it is always fun to speculate, right?

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