I’m Dustin “El Jefe” Christmann, and I am an FC Dallas fanatic from Day One of the Dallas Burn. I’m also a hater. I used to yell mean, hateful things from the stands at the Cotton Bowl and Toyota Stadium, but now I’m sharing my id with you to help guide you, my fellow FCD fans, in your enjoyment of Major League Soccer the World Cup on TV.
FCD in Game 3
- Deedson (Haiti) – One of the first subs off the bench in the 67th minute in their final group game against Brazil, a 4-2 loss. It probably wasn’t a good sign when they were shut out in their first group game against Scotland, something that they managed not to do against the five-time world champions. Deedson didn’t score or get an assist in his three appearances in the tournament, but Haiti’s even being in the tournament was an amazing achievement in and of itself, given that the country is in shambles and the Haitian team didn’t even play a single true home game. Deedson was a big part of Haiti’s qualification, so that’s how I’ll remember his World Cup experience.
- Johansson (Sweden) – He didn’t play in Sweden’s 1-1 draw against Japan at
JerryworldAT&T StadiumDallas Stadium. I’m becoming increasingly convinced that Herman’s role on the Swedish team is to show his teammates the highlights of the Frisco nightlife, helping them find Swedish delicacies — at the Ikea, of course — and dealing with a training site that’s partially demolished:
- Musa (Croatia) – If you’re a Petar Musa fan, and presumably, you as an FCD fan are, then you probably don’t like the trend line: started and scored against England, started and didn’t score and was subbed at the half against Panama, and did not play at all in a must-win (or at least draw) game against Ghana. It also didn’t help that his replacement, Ante Budemir, did score against Panama and got the start against Ghana. But Croatia did win and finished second in Group L, so we’ll likely get to see more Musa.
Ignorant Take of the Round
It occurred to me that I had been calling this the “Ignorant Take of the Week,” even though these columns hadn’t been coming on a weekly basis. Oh well.
Anyway, I haven’t encountered too many truly ignorant takes out in the wild the past few days since we were last together, so instead I’ll give you a funny one:
Game of the Round
Portugal vs. Croatia at Toronto Stadium (Fox and Telemundo, Thursday at 6:00)
When I first became a soccer fan back in Ye Olden Days, the big debate among fans was Pelé vs. Maradona as the Greatest of All Time. It was kind of an odd debate, since their careers didn’t overlap at all. They were literally a generation apart. But you know, baseball fans compare modern players to guys who played a century ago, so maybe the Pelé vs. Maradona debate ain’t so weird.
Another odd debate is the one that currently animates soccer fans: Lionel Messi vs. Cristiano Ronaldo. It’s weird to me because it shouldn’t even be a debate.
Now, somebody might accuse me of being on Team Messi because I’m a fan of an MLS team and Messi chose to take his talents to South Beach three years ago. How dare you. That guy sucks all the oxygen out of the room. The headlines after FCD beats Colorado will be “FC Dallas 2, Colorado Rapids 1. How Dallas’ Win Affects Lionel Messi’s Playoff Chances.” You can’t watch a single damn halftime ad break on Apple TV without seeing him twice. I’ve got Messi fatigue, y’all.
BUT…
The guy is the greatest player of his generation. Not only does he score a bunch of goals himself, but he also makes all his teammates better. He lifts the players around him. Over his three years in Miami, a bunch of formerly anonymous players have looked like million-dollar players, then gotten traded or transferred elsewhere, and returned to being mostly anonymous at their new teams. He put Argentina on his back and carried them to the 2021 and 2024 Copa America titles and the 2022 World Cup titles. He has made people forget that Luis Suárez is old and arthritic.
Now compare and contrast him to Cristiano Ronaldo. The guy is a show pony. Is he talented? Sure. Will he make his team better? Sure, because he’s more talented than most other guys you’d have in his position. But does he lift anyone around him? Nah, not really. The guy was almost invisible against the Democratic Republic of Congo, he yelled “I’m back” when he scored two against Uzbekistan in a 5-0 win, and was back to being invisible against Colombia. He was right that he was back, back to patting himself on the back for self-promotion for doing something that any top-level forward could do.
“But he won the 2016 Euros with Portugal! Everyone knows that the Euros are the toughest international tournament in football!”
Ah yes, the 2016 Euros, when Antoine Griezmann scored six goals and won Player of the Tournament. Meanwhile, Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice in the group stage against Hungary, when Hungary had already qualified for the knockout round, and once against Wales in the semifinal. And let me point out that that was 10 years ago. What has he done since then, other than watching Messi win the Copa America twice and the World Cup once?
Everything that Cristiano Ronaldo has achieved has been by being carried by big clubs and by a talent-rich national side. He doesn’t carry his teammates; he lets them carry him. And he’s got shitty fans:
But don’t take it from me, take it from Australia’s new favorite pundit, Mike Grella:
And oh yeah, Cristiano Ronaldo is an admitted rapist.