I’m Dustin “El Jefe” Christmann, and I am an FC Dallas fanatic from Day One of the Dallas Burn. I’m also a hater. I used to yell mean, hateful things from the stands at the Cotton Bowl and Toyota Stadium, but now, I’m sharing my id with you to help guide you, my fellow FCD fans, in your enjoyment of Major Soccer on TV.
Musical accompaniment
Last week
The great thing about being towards the bottom end of the playoff chase and getting hot is that if you win a game, usually you move a bit because everyone around you isn’t really collecting points that quickly. That’s why they’re down there, right?
So it’s been for FC Dallas. They started last week in 10th place, beat the Gals, and are now in 8th place, where they would host the play-in game at Fortress Construction Zone Frisco.
And that win had all the elements of a lot of FCD victories in 2025:
- Opponent scores first early in the match
- Petar Musa scores
- One or more of Musa’s teammates score
- FCD hangs on for dear life late in the second half to bring home the victory
- Everyone’s postmortem is “Yeah, they won, but…”
Still, three points is three points. And they honored one of the faces that would appear on FCD’s Mt. Rushmore Burnmore, Matt Hedges, who appeared 349 times for Our Heroes and who should really, really have a job waiting for him in Frisco in the academy.
Leagues Cup Fourth Place Make-Up Game of the Week
Orlando City vs. Vancouver Whitecaps (MLS Season Pass, 6:30)
So, for all of you who are wondering about the title of this week’s Hatewatching Guide, it’s because MLS is only playing five games this week, due to the international break, and all five games were rescheduled from earlier this season.
This game was rescheduled because Orlando City made the Leagues Cup semifinals on August 27 against Inter Miami, and because CONCACAF Champions Cup gives three berths to Leagues Cup, Leagues Cup gives out two berths to the finalists, and has a third-place game to determine the third berth.
Orlando didn’t win the third-place game and did not get a CCC berth, which seemingly half the league gets. Vancouver has a CCC berth for winning the Canadian Championship, which seems like an awfully big prize for winning a cup competition with two MLS chumps in Montréal and Toronto and a bunch of Canadian Premier League teams.
And lest anyone think I’m discounting the Caps’ accomplishment, let me remind you that the team that Orlando did not beat in the Leagues Cup third-place game currently has the fewest points in the league. Oh sure, the game was in LA, but c’mon, Papi. Not only are you having to play this game this weekend when you’re missing seven players due to international callups, but you didn’t even beat the worst team in the league to get something out of the whole deal?
Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: Orlando.
”Way to Not Fall on Your Face in the Club World Cup” Make-Up Game of the Week
Inter Miami vs. Atlanta United (MLS Season Pass, 6:30)
When Inter Miami was put into the Club World Cup, everyone knew what it was about. Miami has Messi, and FIFA wanted Messi on the field. Sure, the official justification was that Miami was that “host,” which is funny because some of the games were played in Charlotte, and I didn’t see CLT FC out there, yaknow?
But surprise, surprise, surprise! While all the other MLS representatives fell flat on their faces despite the fact that they actually got in by virtue of doing something on their own and despite their familiarity with the travel and the weather conditions (Memo to Euros: It gets hot here in the summertime. Maybe don’t play these games in the middle of the afternoon.), Miami actually advanced to the Round of 16… where they proceeded to get pounded into a smooth paste by Paris St.-Germain, 4-0.
However, because they did advance, they had to reschedule this game. Incidentally, here’s the graphic attached to the announcement:
Guess who won’t be dressed in pink on October 11. That’s right, Lionel Messi, who’ll be with Argentina as they’re playing just down the road at Hard Rock Stadium against Venezuela on Friday night and at Chase Stadium — home of Inter Miami — on Tuesday night against Puerto Rico. The latter game was supposed to in Chicago, but was relocated and rescheduled “due to security and logistical concerns.” I wonder if he’ll get to sleep in his own bed at Stately Messi Manor.
Oh yeah, Atlanta’s playing in the game, too. And really, they’ve got something to play for, since they’ve got a real shot at the Wooden Spoon. Not what they thought they’d be playing for when they went out and spent a ton of money in the offseason, but they wouldn’t be the only team with “United” in their name to fall flat on their faces after spending so much money.
Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: Atlanta, because it would be so funny for them to win this game with most of their “best” talent away on international duty.
Leagues Cup Champs Make-Up Game of the Week
Seattle Sounders vs. Real Salt Lake (MLS Season Pass, 8:30)
This is one of three games that were rescheduled due to the Leagues Cup semifinals, final, and third-place game, and this is the one that actually featured the team that won it. But enough electrons have been senselessly murdered talking about Leagues Cup, so let’s instead talk about what’s really at stake in this game:
PLAYOFF IMPLICATIONS [cue ominous music]
This is one of two games this weekend that actually features teams that are still in playoff contention that have not yet qualified. We all know what the other one is, and we’ll get to it in a moment.
Real Salt Lake currently sits in 9th with 40 points, one point behind FCD (41 points) and tied on points with Colorado, but currently winning the 1st tiebreaker, games won, 12 to 11. If they win this game, they qualify, since neither Colorado nor San Jose (38 points) could finish ahead of them. Colorado could catch them on points on Decision Day, but would lose the games won tiebreaker, 13-11. So their job is clear.
Meanwhile, Seattle has almost nothing to play for in this game. They’ve already qualified for the CCC by winning Leagues Cup. They sit in 5th in the West, nine points behind 4th-place Minnesota, so they can’t move up. The only team behind them that can catch them is Little Brother Green, who have two games left and are five points back. But you know, that’s really just the difference between finishing in 5th or 6th. They’re basically playing for professional pride.
But the Sounders have professional pride in abundance and are coached by one of the greatest coaches that this league has ever seen. And they’re at Lumen Field.
Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: Seattle.
“Wait, don’t they have a roof?” Game of the Week
Austin FC vs. Los Angeles FC (Apple TV+ free game, Sunday at 6:00)
This game is the only one that wasn’t rescheduled due to Leagues Cup or the Club World Cup. And it’s the only one that doesn’t include a team that has already qualified for the CCC. It was originally scheduled for July 5, but that was during all the rain and flooding in Central Texas that had deadly consequences, so they wisely rescheduled it.
But it allows me to highlight one of the big exaggerations that have been told about stadiums with partial roofs, canopies, or whatever:
“They protect the fans from the sun and weather.”
Well, maybe. Don’t get me wrong: I much prefer for stadiums to have covered seating areas. I spent plenty of afternoons at Darrell K. Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium as a college student and got blasted by the sun and rained on. I missed fewer than five home games when the Burn played at the Cotton Bowl and got blasted by the sun and rained on (and snowed on) plenty of times. And I’m glad that the Toyota Stadium renovations are supposed to have canopies over the seating areas.
However, I also know three things:
- No matter how great a job the roof does of covering you during the game, you’re still subject to the conditions when you’re walking up to the stadium before and after the game. If it’s raining cats and dogs in Atlanta, they’ll close the robot anus at Mercedes-Benz Stadium, and you’ll stay nice and dry, but you’re still gonna get rained on before and after the game when you’re heading to and from your car or the MARTA station.
- If your seats are on the east side of the stadium, you’ll be facing west, and unless the roof of the stadium covers everything — in other words, the stadium is a domed stadium — you’ll be staring into the sun during afternoon games. Do we not remember watching all those afternoon games from Texas Stadium back in the day, or the afternoon games at any of MLS’ stadiums with partial roofs?
- If you’re having heavy rains and there’s flooding and there’s a guy loading animals onto a huge boat on his front lawn, that stadium roof ain’t gonna do jack because the game’s gonna get cancelled or postponed.
Again, I’m glad that Toyota Stadium is supposed to be getting canopies over the seating areas in the renovation, as long as the Hunt boys don’t take an axe to them in the name of saving some dough. But let’s calibrate our expectations accordingly.
Oh yeah, this game? Due to international callups, almost all of the players that most folks would be interested in are gonna be away, and the most interesting players on the field (for us) will be the FCD alumni. So, um, whatever.
Jefe the Hater’s rooting pick: LAFC, with Hollinghead and Tafari providing the scoring punch.
Good Guys Game of the Week
LA Galaxy vs. FC Dallas (MLS Season Pass, 9:30)
FCD hasn’t qualified for the playoffs yet, but will with a victory. They’ve essentially been in “playoff mode” for a few weeks now. As such, I don’t really have anything to say and will turn this slot over to someone else to provide their thoughts:
